Impartial Hooligans

Please enjoy this lovely parody written by Rain for the day before prepatch:

Twas the night before prepatch, when all through the guild
Not a player was parsing, no matter their build
With consumables placed on the floor in a row,
This time Kel made it look like a big cameltoe
Some guildies were inspecting the floor, now dead
While visions of talent trees danced in their heads
With Zara as dps and Ghosty still healing,
Zara threw an insult that left Ghosty reeling,
When from near the boss arose such a clatter,
I stopped my rotation to see what’s the matter.
I clicked on my raidframes, my vision a blur,
My weakauras blaring “DONT STAND IN THAT CURR”,
A pool of fire on the floor of the room,
Gave light to things in its circle it had begun to consume,
Though the haze of the flames made it harder to see,
I saw a bear that skipped leg day staring back at me.
Ignoring the boss like it was chop suey,
I knew in a moment that it must be Chewy
The rest of the DPS dropped from an aoe bombshell,
And we all heard a voice in comms that said: “I didn’t hear no bell!”
At one percent left the bosses’ health hung,
While the guildies in discord screamed out a lung,
One final swipe from our menacing bear,
And the boss’s body dropped glittering, with loot inside there.
We rezzed all the dead, and looted everything quick,
And for the next boss Kel made the feasts into a dick.